Every year, my friends on the internet and I hash it out over what the best punk Christmas song of all time is. Is it The Ramones’ Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want To Fight Tonight)? Fear’s Fuck Christmas? The Pogues’ Fairytale of New York? The Kinks’ Father Christmas? Danny Says by the Ramones? The Angry Snowmans?
All close, and all at the top of the list, but no, it’s none of those. It’s the Showcase Showdown’s Merry Christmas, I Fucked Your Snowman. That is obviously hands down the best punk Christmas song ever.
That said, the SECOND best Christmas song is actually one of the ones above. The Kinks’ song about a shopping mall santa being held up and robbed by a bunch of thugs in my mind perfectly captures the essence of what this season is all about. I’m not going to post a Kinks song on this here blog. You’ll have to dig that up elsewhere for yourself.
But I’m certainly not above posting a cover of the Kinks song. As far as I know, the only cover of that song. By, what I’m sure is clear now, is one of my favorite bands of all time, Everready. Amid other Southern California mid-90’s pop punk bands covering Christmas classics, you’ll find Jon Cougar Concentration Camp, Dodgeball, Spazboy, Carter Peace Mission, and Third Rale. Dodgeball offers up the snarkiest version of Blue Christmas I’ve ever heard. Carter Peace Mission brings new levels of awesomeness to Good King Wenceslas. And somehow, Second String (who One Sided War tells me is an all star band made up of members of other bands on this record) manages to cram all 12 verses of the 12 Days of Christmas into under 3 minutes. About the only thing this album lacks in order to be perfect is Tiltwheel covering Wonderful Christmas Time.
It’s now the day after Thanksgiving and officially Christmas music season. Go ahead and blast the Pogues and the Ramones and Fear and Elvis and Bing and Barbra Streisand and Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. But start with this one. Methinks you’ll slide those others to the back of the queue more than once this season.